Splatter Beach (2007-10-09)
Terror |
Overview
Directed By: Mark Polonia John Polonia
Star Cast: Erin Brown , Erika Smith , Dave Fife , Brice Kennedy ,
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Greigh Johanson
This is supposed to be a comedic tribute to the beach monster movies of the 1960s. It's about the Polonia brothers trying their hardest to rip off “**Humanoids from the Deep**” and other sea-monster flicks and I also see some parables to **Jaws** and **Psycho**. The acting is amateur and the directing is atrocious. The green-screen effects have gotta be the worst in cinematic history. This movie intended to be a comedy and the film's humor is about homosexuality, sexual acts, farting, lesbianism and Hercules movies. Normally, I totally love that kind of humor, especially when it comes from **Troma**, but **Polonia** tends to make it really boring. Should we laugh at this shit? I didn't laugh once. In this edition of **Camp Motion Pictures** it comes a bonus disc containing the film's soundtrack and I promise I will never ever put it in my CD player. It's very rare (except for radio music) that I hear this kind of bad music. Even the music will be a part of the humor, and I was almost ashamed when I listened to it. **Polonia** has really stuck in childish and **Splatter Beach** is like a horror movie in the style of the 90's TV-shows like "**Eerie Indiana**" and "**Goosebumps**", but even worse. I don't recommend this film to anyone. It's an hour of wasted time and you will by all odds not laugh a single time, it's just pathetic, poorly made and really boring.